before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
it glows. i had to have it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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