She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
