Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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