North Korea, Best Korea!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
