Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
