I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
