Can i not drive my cunt home
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
