Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
