I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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