i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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