people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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