1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have fence marks all over my body
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
