I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
