I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
