is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize