i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
