your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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