I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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