He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I love you. Go after that dick
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
