Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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