just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
