You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
porn star boner night. come get it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize