Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
