I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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