Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
