Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
