mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
