I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
