I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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