Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My pussy is not your playground.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
