told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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