I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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