i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
