I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
