I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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