Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
