youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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