last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
