sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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