Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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