these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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