Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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