So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
soo... how was my night?
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