I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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