I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
