I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
