I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
