Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
