"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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