dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
