these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
