I'm so fucking centered right now
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
