sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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