How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
