If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You smell like stripper and shame
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize