if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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