totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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