my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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