He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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