put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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