Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
