If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize