hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
