he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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