You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I had to cum in my sink.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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