Screwed.edu
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
MIDGETS
????
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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