all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Buhtt sex?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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