yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
