My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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