He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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