I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
false alarm, still single
Verdict: uncircumcised.
that is very illegal...i love you.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
