Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
