You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
