I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
