if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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