So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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