did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
