Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Congratulations! We have a period
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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