...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
