I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize