Do you still have your period?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
