I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
