Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
