You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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